For he is a minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil. (Romans 13:4)
A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. Houses and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord. (Proverbs 19:13-14)
And Judas and Silas, being prophets also themselves, exhorted the brethren with many words, and confirmed them. And after they had tarried there a space, they were let go in peace from the brethren unto the apostles. Notwithstanding it pleased Silas to abide there still. (Acts 15:32-34)
There is a place for authority. Authority is typified by the father, who must teach his son to be wise and must not train his wife to nag. The father can give advantage in earthly prosperity but only our heavenly Father can give ultimate joy and really ultimate prosperity in those things that money cannot buy and that do not disappear over time.
When the church leadership sent representatives with delegated authority to bring the Gentile congregations into harmony, there was still a necessity for discussion and confirmation. People do not accept the legitimacy of authority without seeing the reason it benefits them.
The core source of legitimacy for authority in the home, the church and in the state, comes from the ability to be God's servant (minister) for ensuring there are consequences. Good consequences for doing good, and less appealing consequences for doing evil. A strong group requires a strong leader who is invested with authority to deal out this justice, and a conscientious membership who are ready to hold the leader to account.
How often we lack all three. We have few strong leaders, especially since we have lost the confidence of a clear moral compass. We leaders have little authority to lead, where the spirit of the age is "let everyone have a good time" and discipline is anathema. Those who maintain their power do so with no regard to the goodwill of the people, believing we are pliable fools who can be duped into anything.
Lord bring justice, and bring it to my heart first and my hand next.
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