His Sheep Am I

Based on Psalm 23

The man who has the kind of trust in Jehovah that he needs has this experience:
He expects that Jehovah will look after his needs.
He experiences that obedience to Jehovah (his law) is giving him contentment and peace.
He is being converted by the power of Jehovah every day and Jehovah shows him how to keep his law for the sake of Jehovah's reputation.
He expects that when he suffers greatly or dies he will not be afraid of any long-term problems because Jehovah is on his side and wields great power to correct him and protect him. He fears Jehovah more than death and loves him more than life.
He experiences that Jehovah is providing for his needs regardless of those who hate him, and Jehovah encourages him with luxuries too.
He is confident that Jehovah will invest in him and forgive his disobedience every day he lives, including the endless days he expects to spend in Jehovah's household.

Expect God to do things for you, but expect him to require effort from you too.
You should be confident that God will provide your needs and give you courage to face the day of death. You should also be confident that God will tell you what to do morally and that in obeying him you can actually make him look good to people that do not love him.
God can forgive your disobedience now and you do not need to become disobedient again. There will never be a time when you will not need forgiveness because you have already disobeyed God, but that does not mean there will never be a time when you will be obedient. The disobedient burn in hell, if you don't want to do that then ask God to help you be obedient.

Why don't you ask Jesus right now to be your strong shepherd and ask to become his obedient sheep?