Pornography is Legalised Brutality

Note: I have not put any explicit content here, I don't think that is appropriate, but what I discuss in this post is very troubling. I also try to be very honest about my own deep, subconscious attitudes. This is not the kind of thing I think about, talk about or write about usually. I just think it needs to be done.

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. (Malachi 2:14-16)

God cares about women. While browsing an online forum about psychology I noticed a thread about ways of overcoming addiction to pornography. I have heard about pornography from the pulpit from time to time but I don't remember ever hearing anyone giving ideas about how to get out of it. So I looked at the thread and saw some men had made a few suggestions. But a woman posted a long article (or more like fact-sheet) that was intended to show that pornography is bad.

For the purposes of the thread, I'm not sure how relevant the article was. But it may be useful for people  to know how brutal pornography actually is. Let me explain the reasoning, I don't remember where I read/heard it, but the reasoning is very good I think. Lust, sinful desire (not necessarily sexual), is a particularly selfish sin. (Proverbs 6:30-32) In fact we could probably suppose that lust is selfishness in its raw form. In this sense "lust" is entirely different from "sexual arousal/passion/desire" although these words are often used interchangeably. Sexual arousal, passion and desire can be appropriate in the right context (Hebrews 13:4) and a book of the Bible is even dedicated to this, though we often like to spiritualise it away (Song of Solomon).

Sexual arousal is closely linked with love, trust and empathy, lust is not. Lust is closely linked with violence, hatred and… pornography. Lust is a desire to have; to have pleasure, power and fulfilment with no regard to others. This is why the Bible says: I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. (Romans 7:7b) Covet, meaning breaking the 10th Commandment, wanting something that you cannot have without hurting someone, a desire that cannot be righteously satisfied as I once heard it defined.

To experience lust and love at the same time is not possible, because lust wants to take from others and love wants to give to others. It is possible to experience pleasure in the context of love (in any sense), in fact, it is impossible to give love and not experience pleasure. The "selfless" act always brings an emotional reward. It is good to receive love from others, and even seek love from others, especially from God (Acts 17:27; Matthew 6:33) but not to take from them what they do not want to give.

There seem to be three types of exchange. Lustful exchange, taking anything by force or manipulation (including short term giving/loving behaviour), we call this violence. Equal exchange, giving something on the condition of receiving something in return, we call this business, commerce. Loving exchange, giving to another person unconditionally often resulting in a loving exchange in return. We all desire so much to participate in a loving exchange, and a relationship with God is the ultimate fulfilment of that desire.

Since lust and love are so contradictory; hatred and violence cannot exist in the mind while empathy is present. While empathising with a person, one cannot hate or violate. That is the theory. Practically speaking, when people are aware of the horrors that people, especially women, who are involved in producing pornography must endure they must be prompted to feel empathy. This feeling of empathy overwhelms lust, leading the viewer of pornography to be horrified by what he sees not exited.

I have known this idea for some time and had the opportunity to practice it. Growing up in a Christian family sheltered me from many things, but going to school or just passing along a street provide ample sources of corruption. I say corruption because what I was exposed to affected me, though not only in the way people usually talk about.

I experienced an element of lust from what I saw, from what my friends told me and from the way that young women related to me. I frequently saw people who should have been wearing more clothes, both in images and reality. Fortunately I rarely saw complete nakedness, unfortunately, not never. My friends and others who were not my friends told me about things I was not yet curious about at the time, awakening these things before I was naturally ready for them. Their way of talking about sexuality also led to making it a little more separated from marriage and relationship in my mind than it had been. This is typically called the "objectification of women", which starts in the images and gets fostered by young males spending too much unsupervised time among themselves. The behaviour of the young women was usually quite okay. The problem is that it only takes one or two young women to do a lot of damage.

There are a minority of young women in high school who develop early; often mentally but especially physically, and because of the way our system operates, these young women actually have a lot of influence on high school culture and therefore the mental development of many people. In the public (government) school I went to, these young women seemed to get their identity from their sexuality and I think my lack of interest in them was taken as an insult. They attempted to reform me at times, or punish me, I'm not sure which. But I thought it was normal that women would do this, just a fact of life, until I went to a Christian school and I saw a much better world.

Anyway, this is all to say that lust has two sides. The side the Christianity talks about is the sexual desire side, but there is another side, hatred of women. My public school education created a resentment in me towards women. It was women, both teachers and students, that seemed to be attacking me and manipulating me, I feared them and maybe I even hated them.

This is a very new realisation for me, but I share it because I think it is extremely widespread. I believe that although I know I have room for improvement, Jesus has healed my attitude towards women. For the last few years I have had to work with women in ways that has required me to grow a lot spiritually. My work has been in a powerless, assisting role in my local church congregation, the de facto (real) leaders in this congregation are all women, various kinds of women. They have been my supervisors, my co-workers, my teachers, my directors, my rebukers, my counsellors, often simultaneously. They all have been my friends. I believe God put them in my life to bring a restoration to my mind.

I still believe it is wrong for women to exercise authority over men (1 Timothy 2:12), at least in the church. I am not meant to be writing about feminism but about pornography. I got onto this topic because I was trying to understand and recall my ineffective way of overcoming lust.

I knew it was wrong to desire women as an object, and I resisted this temptation better than most I think, but instead Satan took me with the other trap. I thought that to avoid lusting I needed to hate instead and I began to hate the average promiscuous (sexually active) woman. I am sure I did not think this consciously, but it just seemed a natural assumption. For example, I would be forced to hear or sing songs that I associated with either female promiscuity or feminism and my friends and I would deal with them by changing the words to make them about hate or death. I am not the first to have done this kind of thing, and I may have picked it up somewhere. Roman Catholicism and Freemasonry are notable for connecting womanhood with evil and there are no doubt a lot of more present-day examples.

Pornography is probably the most widespread of these. Although I've never seen any, I have no reason to doubt the witness of those who got out of it and of those who have studied it. Modern pornography is primarily about degrading women. (I can give references, but privately, my sources explicitly refer to adult content, send me a private message if you want evidence) It is not so much focussed on heightening sexual arousal, but rather on expressing repressed anger against women. I think it is a bitter indictment on feminism as a movement that they actively encouraged pornography and were partly responsible for its legalisation in the first place, even today pornography is defended by most feminists.

Modern pornography is brutal, and surely cannot fail to turn men into brutes. There was much good in feminism, but also some bad. Pornography feeds the resentment of men who have been hurt by women, and there are many, many such men. We cannot really stop men feeling the resentment, nor should we. Most have got good reason to be upset, like I did. This resentment can be dealt with properly by Jesus, who can turn it into a desire to form healthy relationships and train the young to deal faithfully with each other. This is what Jesus did for me. But those who instead get into pornography begin to believe that the way to deal with being hurt by women is to hurt them back. It's the old Satanic line: "Do unto others before they do to you." Such men must surely become brutal towards the women that love them, and sin is added to sin, and the world keeps getting worse and worse. (I'm thinking of 2 Peter 1:4)

To ban pornography will not work. But I would like to see legislation that would cause making pornography to be unviable. For example making it very easy for participants to sue the producers, or making a law like the biblical one that would give a victim of rape unlimited access to the rapist's money and allow a participant in pornography (or prostitution) to sue for rape by a "customer". Either way, pornography would be far too risky to produce. I hope these laws are made and the pornography is destroyed.

But as I see it, there will always be abuse wherever there is sin. My aim is to introduce men and women to Jesus so that he can save them from the evils that the Devil has taught us to destroy ourselves with.