Final Stand

Based on Psalm 69:1-6

Save me O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul.
Have you ever come close to drowning? Losing strength and slipping under the water despite your frantic efforts. Swallowing water; the taste of a watery grave, desperate. Wishing for some way, any way to get out of the water and breathe freely again. Praying for the strength to reach land or the provision of a helping hand. The fear that there is nothing you can do to save yourself.
I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing; I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.
Have you ever been stuck in mud? Your ruined shoes now lodged perpetually under the place where you thought firm ground was, striving to stay on your feet but unable to move them you fall and get covered in mud. You crawl back to where you left the solid ground, leaving your shoes and dignity behind. But can you imagine being stuck in quicksand? Not merely being harmlessly stuck in the mud but sinking subtly into the earth's smothering embrace. Wishing you were anywhere but here, being buried alive, going down alive into hell (the pit; see Prov 1:12), realising that you really will die, having the horrible thought that the more you struggle the faster you will go. Have you ever been swept away by waves or floodwaters? Seeing the violent wall of dirty water looming over you a moment before it takes control of your life. Trying in vain to stay on your feet, holding desperately to anything solid. Wallowing around trying to stand up only to be washed away by another wave, clutching for the solid rock and being cut all over by its sharp edges. Finding a smooth rock but unable to grip it anywhere and trying with intensity to just get that next breath.
I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.
Have you ever been tired of struggling? Your reflexes are still franticly trying to find anything to preserve your life, but right now some part of you just wants to give up. Something in you keeps desperately fighting, to the bitter end; but you consciously wonders "why bother?" if life is like this. Nobody is helping, not even God.
They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that which I took not away.
Have you ever had the feeling that everybody in a place is working against you and willing to destroy you to get what they want? Have you ever wondered why people keep opposing you without any reason and then someone explains that their reason is essentially political? Have you ever been in an organisation where you had to make an apology to someone that you didn't wrong? Falsely accused and to your shock nobody believes you. What can you say to God in a situation like that?
Let not them that wait on thee, O Lord God of hosts, be ashamed for my sake: let not those that seek thee be confounded for my sake, O God of Israel.
This is your last resort, your final stand when everything seems falling to pieces; and it is a solid place that you can always stand on. "I do not deserve a good reputation, or salvation from circumstances that threaten to destroy me. But there are many others who follow Jehovah God of the universe, and as a known Christian my disgrace and destruction is sure to be devastating to their faith. Please do not let anyone's faith be damaged because of me; destroy this life, but please don't let me destroy the lives of those I love." I can ask this because Jesus has given me the gift of prayer.
[To be continued]