Frustrated

O Lord, why hast thou made us to err from thy ways, and hardened our heart from thy fear? Return for thy servants' sake, the tribes of thine inheritance. 18 The people of thy holiness have possessed it but a little while: our adversaries have trodden down thy sanctuary. 19 We are thine: thou never barest rule over them; they were not called by thy name. (Isaiah 63:17-19)

I know God can save us from all our sins, but sometimes he doesn't seem to want to. I am frustrated at the moment because I just missed a prayer meeting because I didn't hear my alarm. I have been waking early regularly, why should I oversleep today? I hate being unreliable, my reliability is my favourite thing about myself, the virtue that it foundational to who I am. It's almost like God deliberately made me oversleep to challenge my belief in my own reliability. If you think that's a stretch, I can say I have had countless other instances like this over the last couple of years but not much before that. God wants us to trust him in everything, not our own righteousness. God wants me to be reliable on his terms not my terms. I even need to ask God if he can make me reliable, and I will do it now.